IT Service Management From Hell: A Guide to Worst Practices

Description

A new spin on delivering IT infrastructure, this humorous look at the worst methods in IT sounds off against the limitations and small thinking that exists in IT departments today. Poking fun at the sacred cows and catch phrases used by nonthinking managers, including "project management," "risk management," "help desks," and "cost management," this humorous collection of quips provides definitions, abbreviations, and acronyms for the IT lingo most commonly used today.

CONTENTS:

Brian Johnson
Paul Wilkinson
Project managing
ITSM from hell
(implement ITIL that works!!)
IT Service-bw-goed.xpd 17-05-2004 14:24 Pagina 1
Sejanus was a liar but so fine a general of lies that
he knew how to marshal them into an alert and
disciplined formation which would come off best in
any skirmish with suspicions or any general
engagement with the truth.
Robert Graves
from 'I, Claudius'
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5
Thanks.......
In keeping with latest publishing traditions to thank
everyone connected with a book, Brian and Paul wish to thank
those featured in the following short list:
Rudolf, Comet, Cupid, Vixen, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer,
Donner and Blitzen, the Lone Ranger and Tonto, Silver and
Scout, Happy, Dopey, Sneezy, Grumpy, Sleepy, Smelly, Fatty,
Snotty, Wally, Bashful and Doc, Alex, Pippa, Sue, Jacqueline,
Claudia, Kate and Naomi, Hugh Hefner, Earthworm Jim and
Peter the puppy, Queen pulsating, bloated, festering, sweaty,
malformed, pus-filled Slug-for-a-Butt, Psycrow, Evil the Cat,
Professor Monkey for a Head, the Justice League of America,
Eric and Erica, Mick McCarthy, Vic Halom, Peter Reid, Ian
Porterfield, John Stewart, mam and dad, Paul's mum ( they're
posh in his house) and dad, Dillon, the Men from UNCLE, Eric
and Ernie, Mark van Onna, Bob the Killer Goldfish, Robert van
Oirschot, Paddington, Michael Foot, Tony Benn, Theresa
Hyphenated-Surname, Bob Stokoe, Colin, all Scottish
Goalkeepers, James Stewart, Dalglish, Basil d'Oliveira, Frasier,
Daphne, Niles, Martin, the gorgeous Ros and (especially) Maris,
Sandra, Liz, Annelise, Geoff Boycott, Willie Donachie, Super
Dave, Ivor Cutler, Roy Harper, Priscilla Queen of the Desert,
George of the Jungle, Lassie, Rin Tin Tin, Tin-Tin, Tex Avery,
Tom and Jerry, Champion the Wonder Horse, Skippy the Bush
Kangaroo, Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick, Titch, Ginger, Posh,
Scary, Sporty and Baby, John, Paul, George and Ringo, Johnny
Ringo, the Ringo Kid, Wyatt Earp, Pans People, Legs and Co.,
John Carpenter, Johnny Rotten, Joe Strummer, Neil Young,
Richard Thompson, Tom Waits, Ry Cooder, Mick, Keith, Charlie,
Brian, Mick (the other one), Ronnie and Bill, Fred, Barney,
Betty and Wilma, lots of names to make you think we are
intellectuals such as Camus, Kierkegaard, Mies van der Rohe,
Sartre and Eddie Murphy, Stacy and Leslie, Irene, Enid Blyton,
Capt. W.E. Johns, , APM, PUG, GUP, GUPPY, PUPPY, SPAM and
SMUG, SMERSH, THRUSH, BUSH and MUSH little doggies, Hush
Puppies, Slush Puppies, Posh Slushies, Aspirin, Penicillin,
Oxytocin, Wednesdays, Marilyn Monroe, Monica Lewinsky (no
jokes, they'd just leave a bad taste in the mouth), Hans
Ringnalda, Wellington, Boot, Marlon and Maisie, Wellington
(the other one), Winston Churchill, Avon, Cally, Jenna, Blake
(even if he was a bit wet), Gan, Vila, Zen, Orac, Servalan
(phwoar) Einstein, Eisenstein, Frankenstein and Stein remover
and last but not least, Kylie Minogue.
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7 6
Contents
Thanks... 5
Foreword 11
The cast of characters 13
1 Highlights and heroes in the history of project
management 17
1.1 Project management - What is it? 19
1.2 Why do it? 22
1.3 Where it all began 24
1.4 Great moments in the history of project management 25
1.5 Heroes of project management 27
1.6 The frog that turned out to be a frog despite all
the kissing 27
2 Risk management 29
2.1 Risk management - What it is 31
2.2 PRAM, PRAT, CRAMM and CRIB 31
2.3 Critical path analysis 32
3 Getting started, planning and other stuff 35
3.1 Doing nothing 37
3.2 Continuing to do nothing whilst looking like doing
something 38
3.3 Managing the risk of being caught doing nothing 39
3.4 The business case 39
3.5 Phases of a project 40
3.6 Go/not even if I can marry Claudia Schiffer situations 45
3.7 Baling out 45
4 Graphs, GANTT charts and similar time wasting
activities 47
4.1 Graphs and GANTT charts 49
4.2 Costs 49
4.3 Slush funds 50
4.4 PRINCE 2 50
5 Activities taking place 53
5.1 Estimating how bad things are 55
5.2 Troubleshooting (stealing other peoples ideas) 56
5.3 Manipulating results 56
5.4 Damage limitation 57
5.5 Lying through your teeth 58
5.6 Travelling in South America 58
Acknowledgements
John Stewart and Frances Scarff at CCTA for their advice
and assistance. Particular thanks to John who was forced to
locate a second hand sense of humour for use while he reviewed
this piece of work and whose smile muscles had to be surgically
restructured before the review could begin.
Thanks also to the First Aiders at CCTA who helped the
authors after John had finished reading the acknowledgement.
Brian Johnson
Paul Wilkinson
Concept & text: Brian Johnson and Paul Wilkinson
Illustrations: Paul Wilkinson
Making the illustrations funny: Brian Johnson
Honorary Dutch Pervert: Ivo van Haren
Coverdesign & prepress: DTPresto Design & Layout -Zeewolde-NL
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9 8
14 Costs, benefits and possible problems 117
14.1 Costs 119
14.2 Benefits 120
14.3 Possible problems 121
14.4 And finally 122
Definitions, abbreviations and acronyms 123
6 Laughing in the face of failure and smacking the
bottom of criticism 61
6.1 Report writing 63
6.2 Hard and soft benefits 64
6.3 Crying in public (the benefits) 64
7 NOT ITIL..... 67
7.1 Introduction to ITIL and ITSM 69
7.2 Customers and Users 70
7.3 The intelligent customer function 72
7.4 Using consultants 73
8 Scoping the fightback 77
8.1 Sevice with a snarl 79
8.2 Arcane pleasures 80
9 The Help Desk from hell 83
9.1 Help Desks 85
9.2 Lightening the load 86
9.3 Training 87
9.4 Problem management 88
9.5 Incident classification and priority coding 88
9.6 Problem user record 89
9.7 Change management 90
10 Getting the IT infrastructure you want 91
10.1 The IS strategy 93
10.2 Scaring the pants off them 94
10.3 Blackmail 94
10.4 The components of the IS strategy 95
10.5 Measuring for performance 95
10.6 The Balanced Scorecard 95
10.7 Quality improvements 96
10.8 Risk management 97
11 Providing less with more 99
11.1 Managing resources 101
11.2 Misunderstanding customer needs 101
11.3 The services provided 102
11.4 Measuring customer satisfaction 102
11.5 Satisfaction measurement methodology 103
12 SLAs that work 107
12.1 Practising safe SLA's 109
12.2 Managing change 111
13 Capacity and cost management 113
13.1 Capacity management 115
13.2 Cost management 115
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11 10
Foreword
'We are all in the gutter, but some of us are so hammered
we can see the stars.'
I wrote that (it is a work in progress, I have to say) to
illustrate the wit and ready repartee that epitomises the
apocalyptic approach to ITSM redolent in this work. I tried
Sado-Masochism when I was a bit younger and more supple,
which is of course............what? not sado..? really?, oh,
sorry.
Start again. IT Service Management?? Of course it is. And
project management?. OK.
This piece of work claims to be politically incorrect, sexist
and IT-centric. And it achieves all three. I recommend this book
to you unreservedly if you wish to provide the worst possible
services to your customers. Which is of course NOT the reason
that Brian and Paul wrote this warped vision of project
management and ITSM. Be aware, that most of the items raised
as comic issues make uncomfortable reading, because we can all
identify someone who really believes in them!
I know them well enough to believe that they really ARE
being ironic. Of course, I know Paul very well but best not to
mention that before the trial.
Oscar Wilde
Reading Gaol
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13 12
The cast of characters
The Business executive
Aim: to find a method that helps projects to
finish on time and within budget.
Hobby: trying to finish the Financial Times
crossword within 5 minutes.
The Senior user
Aim: to discover a project deliverable that
remotely resembles what was initially
requested.
Hobby: trying to finish the FT crossword.
The Senior supplier
Aim: to be able to understand what exactly
projects were promising to deliver.
Hobby: trying to understand FT crossword
clues.
The project manager
Aim: Trying to create a permanent project that
takes over the whole organisation.
Hobby: writing the FT crossword.
The project resource
Aim: not to be dumped upon from a great
height when projects go wrong.
Hobby: trying to start The Sun crosswords.
Token woman
Token Frenchman
Token Chinese philospher
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15 14
You will notice that the cast of characters is miniscule in
comparison to the millions of people and roles recommended by
project management experts or IT organisational consultants.
Our method is based on maximum involvement of the minimum
number of people necessary for you to have an easy life. Of
course, if you want to hedge your bets by employing boatloads
of people, in order to more easily pass the buck or point the
dirty digit of blame, you should consult a method such as
PRINCE 2.
IT Director
Aim: to build a user free IT empire and
eventually outsource the whole of the
business.
Hobby: talking about himself and praising his
own achievements.
Customer
Aim: to be able to make sense of the IT reports.
Hobby: asking the IT organisation bloody silly
questions and being boring.
Help Desk operator
Aim: to retire at 25.
Hobby: biting the heads off users.
IT Professional
Aim: to be able to walk on water.
Hobby: sliding under doors and making customers
and users feel totally inadequate.
User
Aim: to be able to use IT effectively (no, stop
laughing... he means it!).
Hobby: ...who cares.
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17 16
1 Highlights and heroes
in the history
of
project management
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19 18
1.1 Project management - What is it?
Why have we included a number of chapters on project
management within this IT publication?. Figures reveal that
more than 70% of IT projects are over time or budget or fail
to deliver anything even resembling the expected results,
something we in IT are proud of and intend to maintain.
This makes the business even more dependent upon us in IT for
fixing the mess delivered by IT projects, which in turn keeps us
in work. As I said this is an achievement we intend to maintain
and the first six chapters in this book help you to achieve this
major goal.
Also IT Infrastructure Library best practice recommends
using a method to manage IT projects (or process
implementation projects, or pretty much anything with a pulse.
Or without a pulse. In fact, anything.) and recommends
PRINCE2 so that even more money goes to the office of
administrative affairs to be wasted by Sir Humphrey and his mob
of procurement Nazi's. Or as this is more often described, used
to fund the development of best practices.
To get back to the question however, philosophers as
diverse as Descartes, Kierkegaard, Sartre, Cantona, Camus and,
er, other people, were asked to debate the question 'What is
project management?'. Needless to say this caused them to
wobble a lot. To avoid having to answer such a mind bogglingly
tricky question, they resorted to hiding themselves behind the
cloak of Epistemology - the theory of knowledge, or what is
knowable. Bishop Berkeley an English philosopher, declared
'for an object to exist (a project) it must be perceived.' If it were
not perceived it would not exist...as a project cannot be
perceived it cannot exist. Therefore the concept of 'project
management' is meaningless.'
They all looked mighty smug after that. Berkeley asked
the famous French philosopher Rene Descartes for support. He
thought long and hard about it and then said 'I want a SPAM
sandwich'.
As philosophers, they then invented Spam, that, until
that time had not even been an existentialist concept.
They had to come up with something else however, and finally,
they agreed on the following:
● An invisible organisational parasite that eats
resources and money......
● An opportunity for lonely people to call meetings.
● A bureaucratic monster that vomits forth vast
quantities of paper...
● An excuse for not doing something that the line
I went shopping
for some
camouflage trousers,
but I couldn't find
any
Osama Bin Laden
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21 20
to take hours - come to think of it, decision
moments have been known to take days,
sometimes days take months, then after a
while, those memories of your youth intervene
and you recall talking to that special girl for
the first time and the way she said 'Get lost you
spotty little creep' and - er, are you sure you
wouldn't prefer to study philosophy?
NB a 'gridlock' is often accompanied by
detailed status reports that identify the status
of all status reports.
virus begins as a single project and develops into a
full grown programme that devours the whole
organisation.
barge pole A project that smells like a dead fish.
sure thing Perceived as being absolutely infallible, see
also - black hole, gridlock, virus and hot brick
the banker (also known as the career builder)
That once only, usually minuscule, project that
you bring in on time (well almost) which allows
you to continue forever as a project manager.
It's called the banker because it is your 'ace in
the hole' whenever you're asked to name one,
just one, successful project that you've
managed. It also sounds similar to your
nickname.
hot brick A project that is a hot issue in the organisation
and for which success is critical. Failing to
secure project success is a 'career limiting
move'; wise project managers throw this sort of
project from one to another like a hot brick.
organisation should be doing... (by forging
incomprehensible decision making algorithms and
project organisational structures that go around in
circles before finally disappearing up their own
spiral staircase)...
● An excuse to appoint a project manager who can
take the blame when the project fails to achieve
what everybody knew was impossible in the first
place...
● An opportunity for IT organisations to make
themselves indispensable by first messing things
up and then having the task of cleaning it up again.
● An oxymoron.
Of course, being philosophers, they were all talking out
of their hindquarters. And soon they started arguing that all
generalisations were false. As that statement included itself so
to speak, it sent the assembled company into a series of
gibbering arguments and some years elapsed before Cantona
could again make a sensible philosophical point.
There are as many types of project as there are
definitions. Each type has easily identifiable characteristics.
Project type Characteristics
dinosaur: Huge and lumbering. Impossible to control. It
usually becomes obsolete before realising its
purpose. Reasons for destruction are never
clear.
hit & run: A short, seemingly purposeless exercise that is over before anybody even realised it had begun (many women recognise this particular characteristic, for reasons that the authors have found difficult to identify (or admit to)) and before the project plan had been agreed. damp squib: A project that fizzles out after the first project board meeting because the project board is bored. Or fail to turn up. black hole: A project that seems to consume vast sums of money and boatloads of resource and nothing ever emerges from its clutches. gridlock: A project that never goes anywhere because it is always tied down in meetings (Inertia)and decision moments to decide if another decision moment needs to be created. Hence the study of 'Moments of Inertia', in itself indescribably boring no matter what the opinion of my old physics teacher. A decision moment should definitely not be confused with a Minute. Minutes, especially from Project Board Meetings, have been known And yet the project plan has still been authorised. IT Service-bw-goed.xpd 17-05-2004 14:24 Pagina 20 23 22 Using the European Parliament as an example, you can see that power, lack of responsibility and a huge budget spent on, well , just about anything, has never been held up as a reason for them actually achieving anything. Quite the opposite. It is a well-known fact that the EU spent six billion ECU educating French Farmers to speak English to imported sheep. The fact that imported sheep from the UK were then found to be Welsh speaking (well, that's what the French thought when the Farmers found that the sheep appeared to find English incomprehensible) enraged the Farmers who promptly set fire to the Bastille in protest and arranged for wheel barrows to run on the tracks of the Paris Metro to really screw up public transport and, well, be French about things. The disruption and the rebuilding of the Bastille cost another 14 billion ECU. Damage to the reputation of the French Farmers was estimated as nearly 30 centimes. And the EU had to create numerous sub committee's of MEPs to travel the world to assess the capabilities of sheep to understand French. Which didn't half cost a packet. 1.2 Why do it?? Think about being wholly responsible and accountable for: ● The management of cost,
● deployment of resources out of number,
● communications,
● knowledge creation, assimilation and distribution.
All of these and more can be yours. Or you could try
project management. With project management, you get all of
the benefits of being in charge, allied to the important
knowledge that you can make someone else responsible for all
of the problems.
So, consider the following:
● If you use the guidance in this book correctly you
could create for yourself a huge, 'permanent'
project structure in which you are the supreme
ruler and wielder of organisational power as your
project consumes the whole organisation...
● You can put people in extremely uncomfortable
positions forcing them to make decisions they
really don't want to make and then watch them
squirm.
● You can take a hike before the finger of blame
extends its dirty digit.
● You can avoid having to commit yourself to
anything even vaguely resembling a deliverable.
● You can insist the business has a role in the project
and when things go horribly wrong you can blame
the business, because you know they won't turn up
for the project meetings anyway.
The PRINCE 2 method is important to this book; we will
tell you how it was developed and how to ignore all of the
rubbish it spouts in favour of the one or two good ideas it
houses to help you find easy street. Project management is not
idiot proof. No method can achieve this target. And anyway, if
project management became idiot proof, a better class of idiot
would soon arise.
The central principle of project management is to do
nothing whilst becoming indispensable, like politicians. Or
actors. Or TV football pundits. Or the European Parliament. And
to spend lots of money, and (occasionally, but this is not the
reason for being a project manager, it is merely to keep up
appearances), to deliver a successful project.
A good project doesn't end
....it simply fades away.
..is this project ever
going to end?
Good moaning mister
sheeeep, how are yoo,
...where doo yoo come
frome?
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1.3 Where it all began
Some 50 years ago, the then head of CCTA, asked his
management board 'Why does nothing ever get delivered when I
want it??'. The question was passed to a new recruit, Hugh
Jeegoh, (family motto; if you don't know what you're doing, do it
neatly) who had a brainwave. They would ask the new computer
(of course this theme was used some years later by the famous
Douglas Adams, without credit to the young Jeegoh). Thousands
of operators prepared punch cards (this was an old computer) and
some 20 years later came the reply 'I'm still thinking'. This reply
was not a complete waste of time since it has been used ever since
by every project manager involved in mechanisation projects. Five
years later, the computer came up with 'Come back in another
five years', also used by project managers everywhere.
How they all laughed.
Finally, twenty years ago the computer issued invitations
to a gathering at CCTA where 'the answer' would be given.
The answer was 'Because projects don't finish on time'.
Hugh was assigned a project, to define a method to enable
projects to finish on time. This was the infamous PROMPT
method (named so that projects was created would now finish
promptly.) It was a dismal failure. Undeterred, the PROMPT
project was transmogrified into the PRINCE project. This too was
a complete fiasco. To disguise the less than glorious origins of
their current method therefore, CCTA decided to start again with
a completely different name, PRINCE 2; that would fool them.
Then a method was added as an afterthought. Not much
of a method, but enough to confuse anyone who thought that a
project could be managed by government.
The method has nothing to do with real project
management, which is the subject of part of this book.
1.4 Great moments in the history of project
management
Many great moments are the province of the space industry.
Man and technology focused on achieving seemingly
insurmountable project tasks. Enormous projects, with
seemingly inexhaustible supplies of money
NASA The Apollo project.
25 24
What has this got to do with being a project manager? The
fact that even failure can be richly rewarded with new projects
to manage so long as the failure is massive, costly and
embarrassing. And not your fault (or rather, that you can find a
suitable scapegoat).
Convinced? Then read on.
A multi billion dollar project
spanning two decades, all in an
effort to capture a few pounds of
rocks. However to be fair, there
were spin off benefits: Alan
Shepherd got to practice his golf
swing in zero gravity, further
advancing mankind's
understanding of how to avoid a
slice in weightless conditions, and
my mam got to buy a non stick
frying pan.
ESA Ariane 2 project.
The customers thought they were having their multi
million dollar satellites launched in to orbit, whereas ESA were
planning to go into direct competition with the Chinese in
producing the worlds most expensive and spectacular fireworks
display. The project was directly responsible for the production
The difference between a project and
a story is that a story has a
beginning, a middle and an END!
There you are gentlemen, the first
successful project result ... The Wheel!
That's one small step for
man... one pile of rocks for
mankind.
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27 26
1.5 Heroes of project management
Before we start, let us consider the myriad attributes
needed by a project manager.
They should be male (of course), unless a scapegoat is
needed when a female should be recruited. A pulse in the
candidate is generally considered mandatory, as is an ego the
size of Birmingham. Ideally, shiftless and lazy, the best
candidates also lie as smoothly as an American President.
Briefly, we would like to mention some real heroes of
project management.
Jules Rimet; the man credited with creating the world
cup: old Jules did not realise his project manager was actually a
football hooligan who wanted regular punch-ups with
neighbouring foreign hooligans. The project team organised a
tournament with the help of Jules that is so successful, that
every four years people organise the opportunity to fight on
their behalf and even better, countries compete to find the
hooligans an exciting new location!
Wellington is an English national hero because of his
project to beat the French (his slogan, anywhere, anytime,
anyplace, being later adopted by a famous drinks
manufacturer).
Perhaps unsurprisingly, all Scottish goalkeepers are
heroes to the English because of the SGBP (Scottish Goalkeeper
Breeding Project). Managed by an Englishman who will have to
remain anonymous, the most successful project in the history of
the English FA is the project to ensure that all goalkeepers who
play for Scotland are bred to be hopeless. Mind you their BEFWB
(Breeding English Footballers With Brains) project clearly has a
long way to go. The gene pool in use could use a little chlorine.
1.6 The frog that turned out to be a frog despite all
the kissing
This the project that will not go away. The project that
despite all efforts keeps on going, consumes money, changes
direction faster than New Labour and is under the microscope
because it is in the public eye, requiring media manipulation on
an epic scale to focus blame on suitable scapegoats.
In other words, The Millennium dome. History, as they
say, beckoned.
of the following joke,
extracted from the
stand-up act of the
great Chinese
Communist comedian,
Ho Bludi Ho:
The Chinese
were asked 'What do
you put in your
fireworks?' they said
'Gunpowder'; the
French were asked
'What do you put in your fireworks?, they replied 'Satellites'.
It seems to lose a little in the translation from Cantonese.
Other great moments include:
● The seven wonders of the world ( the contractors
were asked to create seven wonders, but the project
manager knowing the limits of travel agents BC,
built only the pyramids and printed some really
natty brochures for the other six wonders, and of
course went over budget).
● The leaning tower of Pisa. This wasn't actually due
to the incompetence of the architect but was in fact
the fault of the project manager. He was asked to
build a Learning Tower for Pisa.
No... no... I said
a LEARNING
tower for Pisa!
● the Channel Tunnel (it is not widely known that 37
tunnels were excavated by the French and 43 by the
English contractors before they were fortunate
enough to find a pair that met in the middle
without too great a kink in the tracks. Why else do
you think the budget was exceeded by such a large
amount?
In keeping with the traditions of good project management,
the superfluous tunnels will be developed as nuclear waste dumps
- in fact this will be the only part of the entire project that is likely
to show an immediate return on investment).
This section cannot end without further reference to the
CCTA project to create PRINCE 2: it was delivered late.
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29
2Risk
Management
If ants are such hard workers, how come they find
time to go to all the picnics?
Marie Dressler
28
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31 30
2.1 Risk management - What it is
What is Risk management? It is the business of managing
risks, what the hell do you think it is?
Well, now that the technical discussion is over, what are
project risks? Examples include:
● a project sponsor that nit-picks and insists upon
concrete, clearly defined results,
● sponsors who take an interest in the project,
● well-trained team members,
● appointing a project board,
● some idiot insisting that go/no go decisions are
necessary,
● clearly defined business cases with specific
objectives,
● sponsors who insist upon meaningful status reports
with accurate resource and financial figures and
will definitely not accept a load of very colourful
graphs and pie charts.
2.2 PRAM, PRAT, CRAMM and CRIB
There are varied methods for managing risk.
PRAM Sponsored by an organisation we have no intention of
publicising and anyway it is named after a baby's
carriage so it can't be any good, ask any mother, they
all use push chairs nowadays.
PRAT This is more like it, Project Risk Assessment
Technology; buy this expensive software from us and
you can ignore all of the rubbish about using
techniques to manage risk (PRAT has now been
adopted as the official term of endearment for the
Project Quality Control Manager).
CRAMM The CCTA Risk Assessment Marmalade Method or
whatever, we don't know, go and ask them. It'll be
no use. And anyway its now owned by the spooks at
MI5 or 6 or whatever and they probably won't tell you
what it is unless you have forms E123 and E567 and
Which particular
PRAT are you
refering to? ...
I've never seen
any of the
users work!
I can't
get the
PRAT to
work!
No american soldier
will ever set foot in
Baghdad
Saddam Hussein
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33 32
Don't give me any more of this 'critical path
analysis' rubbish Betts .. Just point this thing
towards America and put your foot down!...
Start
Finish
Route 1
Route 5
YOO hoo!!
THIS ONE
Route 3
Route 2
THE CRITICAL PATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Route 4
FU2 signed in triplicate and you agree that your kids
can be held hostage if you even smell like you told
anyone that you've seen the stuff, so its not worth it
is it?
The best method is the tried and trusted method shown
below.
Managing risks with very big arrows diagram
As you can see, this technique involves drawing very big,
angry looking arrows around the risk. It must work, otherwise it
wouldn't appear in so many books.
2.3 Critical path analysis
Also known as analysis of the path that is critical. It is
explained fully in the diagram below.
risk
Using big
arrows to
make a risk
look very,
very small.
If politicians understood a little about critical path
analysis, they may have chosen to provide a cheap reliable
means of public transport, (rather like the one that existed
before trams were axed and railway stations closed, and huge
pots of money were put into out of town development and
equally huge pots of money were withdrawn from subsidising
So that's the project organisation then, John will be the
Business executive, Tony the quality assurance manager,
I'll be the Project leader and Francis will be the scapegoat...
rural transport services), before defining a transport policy to
cut reliance on the private car. But that's the beauty of having
inept management; more projects and more money to spend.
IT Service-bw-goed.xpd 17-05-2004 14:24 Pagina 32